


Dearly Missed, Lady Luck

by madlyhazel



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jealousy, fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:54:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlyhazel/pseuds/madlyhazel
Summary: Shay has never felt adequate, and with such a capable woman at his side, how can he? He's worth nothing, standing beside her. There are so many men better suited for her. But why does he feel so jealous?





	

Why did you look so happy?

 

The smile you had was small, but your body language still expressed how you felt. You leaned toward him, your hands stayed respectful but close, and you seemed completely relaxed. You nodded as he spoke, looking entirely pleasant and all too happy with his company. There was nothing wrong with what you were doing, but there was just something so infuriating watching you gladly listen to him. You had every right to take all of his words to heart, but why did you have to ask him?

 

Shay’s hands clenched at his side, and he quelled his beating heart with a few deep breaths. Haytham Kenway was the Grandmaster—of course you were going to listen to what he had to say. If you didn’t, that would be disobedience. It was expected for you to go to him and ask for his opinion, as well as listen to his instruction. He was the most important man in the Templars, and his word was law. But why did you have to enjoy it so much?

 

You turned away from Haytham, bidding him farewell as you walked back over to Shay, stepping in line beside him as the two of you moved to exit the tavern. You’d needed to ask Master Kenway about the affairs involving a certain ne’er-do-well and if it was time to take care of them. He’d suggested to just wait a bit longer, and that should any problems arise, he would be the first to send men along. You didn’t need to worry over it, thankfully.

 

Your position in the Templar Order was unique and suited to you. Though you had no explicit title, such as Grandmaster or Spymaster, you managed the many affairs of the order through civility and money. Your own wealth, hard-earned and well-kept, is what allowed you to work in the way you did. Even in a room full of older businessmen, you could easily hold your own despite their glances and sneers. As an intelligent woman of business, you were vital to the Templar’s standing in New York.

 

“Sorry to make you wait, Shay,” you murmured, “I just needed to know what I needed to do. That blasted dandy prat thinks he owns the district, and he’s causing me a lot of grief. I do hope that I won’t have to deal with him much longer. He’s bad for business.”

 

“Mmhmm,” Shay hummed in response, his thoughts elsewhere.

 

You gave him a puzzled look. Yes, he generally wasn’t a man of great orations or idle gabbing, but he usually at least gave you the time of day when asked. It seemed something else was preoccupying him at the moment.

 

“Something on your mind?”

 

He huffed through his nose, rolling his shoulders awkwardly. “It’s fine. Don’t bother your head over it.”

 

And that meant something was definitely going on with him. Still, Shay didn’t like to be pushed. When he was ready to tell you his woes, he would. For now, he was more content sulking.

 

You sighed, turning your attention back forward. “I have another meeting today, and then I should be able to relax. We’re talking in the courthouse about this or that. Honestly, it’s just draining to listen to fat men prattle on all day, you know? They only talk about the business for a little bit and then they start going on about what _they_ would do if they were me. What they would do with my money, how they would handle it better because they’re men. I can’t tell you how much I want to strangle them in their tight cravats.”

 

Shay didn’t respond. A glance up to him showed he was staring straight ahead, looking entirely rigid and none too conversational. Well, if that was how he was going to be today, you didn’t have time for him. You had much more important manners to deal with other than a mopey child. You flattened out the front of your dress, pulling up the bustier for a bit more comfort.

 

“Well, if you’re going to act like that—“ He snapped an annoyed look toward you. “—I’m off to deal with things that are actually important. There’s business to be had.”

 

“I _apologize_ for being upset.” Shay’s words were a bit biting.

 

You snorted, placing your hands on your hips. “If you would tell me what I could do to resolve it, things would be much easier. But seeing as that’s not going to happen today, I ought to head off. You’ll tell me later.”

 

“And what would it matter if I told you now or later? Clearly you’re not going to change anything.”

 

“What…? What on earth are you talking about?” You quirked up an eyebrow at him, looking more than a little miffed.

 

“If you don’t know what the problem is, then you obviously don’t care enough to change it.”

 

“Shay! I don’t even know what you’re going on about!”

 

“Figures.” He rolled his shoulders again, cracking his neck. “Go on, go do your little business meetings. I’m imagining you’d rather like the company of other men, anyways.”

 

You were quite shocked. Shay could be a bit harsh sometimes, and your arguments were nothing to sneeze at, but this was unusual. He seemed extremely hostile, and his entire body looked like it was wound on a spring. He was antsy and full of bristles. There was no easy way to approach him, and all your efforts were being rebuked, each one more brutal than the last.

 

“What’s going on with you?” you softly questioned, trying to lower your voice to at least try to get something out of him.

 

He wasn’t having it. “Let off! I don’t want you to shite me.”

 

“Shay, I’m not—“

 

“Look,” he turned fully toward you, looking more menacing than he had in a long, long time, “I don’t care if you’re playing me or not. But I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now.”

 

With that, he turned on his heel and headed away from you, leaving you feeling utterly confused and a bit hurt. You weren’t sure what was going on in that head of his, but he seemed to expect you to know. There was something deeply bothering him, and all of your prodding had merely poured salt into the wound. He’d recoiled from you with a deep malice that made your stomach twist in horrible ways. Just what made him so aggressive?

 

You had a feeling the problem wasn’t entirely you. Yes, you may have been a large part of it, but there was definitely something else lurking below the surface. While you couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was, the feeling that something much grander was wrong remained. You inhaled deeply, forcing that feeling back down into the recesses of your mind. You had other things to tend to. You would worry about him later.

 

Yet as you walked down the street and hailed a carriage, your thoughts threatened to wander. Memories of Shay trickled into your mind, as much as you’d like to build a dam and keep them at bay. He wasn’t an easy man to block from one’s mind, with his imposing stature and somber face. He was a man so deeply wounded one couldn’t help but think of him. Many men and women suffered in your line of work, but none expressed it in the way Shay did.

 

You could vividly remember when you’d first met him. You’d been having a discussion with Mr. Lee on the affairs of the English Army and how they’d been, none too kindly, demanding you support them with your funds. Your face had been sour and Mr. Lee had looked exhausted, only lending an ear because he simply had nothing else to do. Then, Shay had slipped into the tavern the two of you occupied, only offering you a sideways glance as he leaned down to whisper something in Mr. Lee’s ear. Then the two of them had been off, presumably to set to whatever task Shay had grabbed him for.

 

Your glimpse of him had been fleeting at best, but there was something about him that had you immediately drawn in. Despite being a man who could have been no older than thirty at the time, he had the harrowing lines of a man who’d seen too much in his life. He covered himself up with an aloof mask, but there was no controlling his eyes. Behind the glaze of indifference lay eyes that explained every emotion he felt, no matter how he tried to repress it. You’d never seen someone express so much in so little.

 

So when you saw him the second time, you’d approached him. He’d looked a bit surprised, his muscles stiffening as you came clacking over to him in your heeled shoes. You’d just finished discussing a few matters of business with various Templars of various standings, and he’d been placed on guard outside of the meeting house. He struggled not to wither under your intense gaze as you scrutinized him, eyeing him from head to toe and doing everything in your power to pry out those emotions he fought to keep concealed. Yet he forced his stare down at you, meeting your gaze with an equal power that had you straightening out and retracting from your search.

 

You’d asked for his name. He asked for yours first. And with a wide grin, you exchanged titles with him and learned that he was Shay Cormac, a new member of the Order. Yet no new member would be given the duty to guard so many important necks, so you’d quizzed him further. His furrowed brow told you he wasn’t too pleased with your poking and prodding, but you knew there was something there. So your interest grew. And he had to struggle with you every step of the way.

 

Chance meetings turned into frequent visits, and soon Shay was opening up to you in ways you could have never imagined. Despite all the pain you knew he felt—you’d learned finally after he told you abridged stories about his origins—he was a surprisingly gentle man. On your worst days, when the comments of piggish businessmen finally got to you and you would hide away and sob, Shay would be right there. As you’d learned not to push his problems, he showed you the same gesture of kindness. He would merely take his seat down next to you and watch you with concerned eyes until your sniffles ceased and you took his hand, gripping it until the last of your emotions drained from you.

 

You comforted him too. On some nights when you shared a bed, you would wake to him gasping for breath and gripping the sheets, his knuckles white. You wouldn’t ask what he dreamt about; you would reach your hands toward him and pull him close, resting his head on your chest while he fought the shivers that ran through him. You would stroke his hair and hum softly, and like a child, Shay would curl up against you and doze off, this time into a dreamless sleep. You often couldn’t find your own sleep those nights, but it was fine.

 

Your relationship with Shay developed slowly and carefully, each of you tiptoeing around the other in a dance that left the both of you exhausted. Worried that you would overstep boundaries, the pair of you only gently prodded one another in the beginning, testing the fruit of truth to see if it was ripe. After enough time, however, your childish waltz turned into an intense ballet, each of you having learned the steps of the other. While you two still respected one another’s space, it was easy for the two of you to communicate through simple sighs and gestures.

 

So why couldn’t you understand what was wrong with him today?

 

He’d retracted on himself in such a way that you couldn’t pry him open unless you used force, and that was the wrong route to go. The problem he struggled with was much more than a superficial annoyance. Forcing him to tell you what was on his mind would only make the situation worse. Yet, you were lost unless he told you. For the life of you, you couldn’t begin to imagine what had caused him to grow so irritated that he snapped as he did. You desperately thought, but nothing significant came to mind.

 

You supposed you had been more busy than usual lately. You were working with so many deals at once, and it hardly left enough time for him. Perhaps he was upset that your time was entirely devoted to your business. Yet again, that didn’t seem quite right. Shay knew how busy you could get, and he himself often had missions that he wouldn’t come back from for days at a time. The idea that he would be angry at you for simply working wasn’t correct.

 

Perhaps it was your irritation as of late? Due to work, you’d become stressed, and you tended to be more easily annoyed than usual. You generally did your best to keep it under control, but you knew that you did snap once or twice. Then again, Shay was more irritable than you were most of the time, and he was used to dealing with folks that were particularly thorny. There was no reason your sudden but brief prickliness would cause him to grow irritated in turn.

 

The carriage lurched to a halt, and you had to brace your hand on the ceiling to keep your nose from slamming itself into the wood in front of you. Well, looked like you were at the courthouse. You forced all thoughts of things you might have done wrong away, tipping the carriage driver as he opened the door for you. Brushing out your dress, you stared up toward the foreboding wooden doors of the courthouse, taking in a sharp breath.

 

Time for business, then.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I assure you, gentlemen, I am perfectly capable of managing my own money.”

 

How could you have expected that this meeting might be important? In the beginning you had begun to discuss funding the reparation of a degraded borough, but the conversation quickly devolved into your apparent inability to take care of your own wealth. It was only to be expected when you were the only woman in a room of seven men, but you had hoped the important conversation would have lasted a little longer.

 

“We’re not saying you can’t manage them, miss, but that perhaps it would be wise to entrust the largest portion of them to someone who’s…”

 

“Someone who’s _what_?”

 

“… Less likely to lose them should she, say, grow too emotional.”

 

You squared up your jaw, pressing your hands harder into your hips. You were the only one standing at the table, but you weren’t about to back down. Did they really think you didn’t know how to take care of your own damn money? Yes, some of your funds had come from growing up in a well-off family, but you had also worked your tail off to get where you were. You invested correctly, you worked hard, and you gained money and resources to help shape the colonies.

 

You took in a deep breath, putting on a smile of placidity.

 

“So, you believe I don’t know how to support myself in this world? I suppose that can make sense. I can be a bit irrational, and I do have a temper. If I were unwise, my money could go to the wrong person, and really cause havoc. It’s reasonable to fear that I could become corrupt and harm some people in the process. I understand where you’re coming from.

 

“But to assume that because I’m a woman that I can’t manage my own wealth, that is wrong. Unlike some of you, I worked hard to be where I am today. Unlike some of you, I’ve actually worked a goddamn day in my life. I may have a temper, but so does everyone else. God forbid I had more power, because then you would really have something to fear. Gentlemen, you may reasonably doubt me, but if you do so because of my sex, then you’re gravely wrong.”

 

“But, miss, it’s just so improper to--!”

 

“Gideon, I can assure you, the fact that I have a vagina does not prevent me in my field. In fact, it makes me more competent than a man who can’t see because his head is so far shoved up his own arse.”

 

Several of the men clutched their chests at your vulgarity, and you merely sneered on. You were done with this meeting anyway, so you might as well have gone out with what you wanted to say. You brushed out your dress, giving them a curt nod as you made your way toward the door. You would likely be not invited back to a meeting, and that was fine. Cutting your ties with these insufferable men was just fine.

 

And then there was smoke.

 

It all happened so fast. There was the sound of something exploding, glass shattering. You could hear both screams and gurgles, and you threw yourself down to the ground as fast as you could. There were only brief sounds of struggle before the silence. You lay low, desperately hoping you’d blend in with the rest of the bodies. You weren’t sure who your attackers were, but so long as they didn’t realize you were alive, you would be safe.

 

You lay there for way felt like hours, your spine tingling and your breaths shallow. Though you kept your eyes closed, you could sense the smoke dissipating. It became easier to breathe, though you didn’t dare gulp in more precious air. If even the slightest movement came from you, the assailants would realize you weren’t dead like the rest of their targets. Hell, they might have already known. You weren’t covered in blood like the rest of your fellow businessmen.

 

“That all of ‘em?” The voice was male, and it sounded only slightly out of breath.

 

“Looks like it. All eight of them.”

 

“Mind if I take some wallets?”

 

“Sure. The dead have no use for money anyways.”

 

You began to desperately pray that they wouldn’t come your way. Maybe the looter would be satisfied with two or three purses, and then they would be on your way. Then you could escape with your life and report back to Mr. Kenway that many of your Templar associates had just been killed. This would be a serious blow to the Order, but so long as you were alive, you believed you could still get things done.

 

And then the front doors to the courthouse burst open, the sound of wood splintering.

 

A volley of fire followed, and you could hear your attackers swear and scramble to find cover. One cried out in pain, no doubt from a bullet finding its mark. There was yelling and screaming, and the distinct sound of metal on metal grated on your ears. You forced your body to remain still, forced your heart to quell its frantic beating. These new assailants couldn’t be allowed to discover that you were alive either. There was the possibility they were no more than men trying to gain a bit of coin from a situation they happened across.

 

The fight was brief, and soon the room was only filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and annoyed grumblings. You were unsure which party won, but no doubt neither had gotten away without injuries. You could hear footsteps rapidly approaching you, and you forced your breathing to stop. If you could just hold your breath until they were done with you, you would be safe. Large, rough hands gripped your shoulders, gingerly flipping you over onto your back.

 

“Shay, is she…?”

 

Shay? Your eyes snapped open, and you saw the Irishman’s startled expression in front of you, but only for a moment. He lurched forward, wrapping his strong arms around you and pulling you close to his chest. You could hear a heart-wrenching sob escape him, his shoulders shaking.

 

“Love, I thought you were… I thought…” He swallowed deeply, pressing his nose into your hair. “Fuck, if we’d been here a moment later you would of… No, we should have been here earlier. None of this would have happened. They wouldn’t have…”

 

He pried himself from you, and you could see his face completely unmasked. His dark, soulful eyes were full of tears, and the grimace on his face caused you equal amounts of pain. There was such concern in his expression that it had your stomach twisting and your heart dropping. He thought he had lost you, and now he was beside himself with regret that he hadn’t been able to prevent this.

 

“Shay, you couldn’t have known. The fact that you managed to be nearby is—“

 

“No!” he interrupted, gripping your shoulders painfully, “We knew! Fuck, we knew and I was such a bloody idiot that I put off coming here. I was so upset that I just wanted to sulk, and you almost died. I almost got you killed, I…” He sobbed again, hanging his head low.

 

Your gaze trailed up to Mr. Lee who stood behind him, then to Mr. Hickey who stood near the table that had been arranged for your meeting. The bodies of businessmen who had been alive minutes before slumped on the wood or on the floors, and Mr. Hickey observed them with an annoyed look.

 

“We heard that the Assassins were planning an attack on some of our men,” Mr. Lee explained, running a hand back through his black hair, “Needless to say, we were a bit late because of circumstances.”

 

The man’s bright green eyes wandered over the pitiful hunched body of Shay, who looked like he was ready for God himself to smite him where he kneeled. Mr. Lee let out a small sigh, slapping his hand back down to his side.

 

“Proper punishment can be administered later. For now, the two of you ought to get out of here. I’ll let the Grandmaster know the situation after Thomas and I take care of some business.”

 

You mouthed a thank you to him, rising up to your feet and pulling Shay along with you. He numbly followed, his hand heavy and limp in your own. Due to his own faults, men had perished, and you had almost met the same fate. No doubt this weighed heavy on his mind, and you were unsure of just how to distract him. Perhaps for now, it was better to let him think. You were sorry to see him like this, but he indeed had made a mistake. It was better for him to acknowledge it than hide away.

 

The two of you took a carriage back to your home, and you guided Shay inside. You removed his jacket and hung it on a coatrack, all the while watching him as he somberly shuffled over to a couch, allowing his whole body to collapse into it. The furniture creaked, and you tiptoed along to the kitchen. A servant came along to assist, but you ushered her away. You wanted to do this yourself. It would at least give your actions more meaning.

 

Once ready, you carefully brought the tea to him in a fine china cup, with a matching platter below it. You gingerly placed it on the end table next to him, but he made no immediate move to grab it. Settling yourself down next to him, you folded your hands in your lap and took in a deep breath. Now that he had thoroughly thought about his actions, you needed to carefully broach the subject with him.

 

“Shay,” you softly murmured, reaching out and placing a hand on his thigh. He didn’t respond. “Many men died, and that’s horrible. But do you honestly believe you could have saved all of them had you been there sooner? One or two, maybe, but I heard how fast those Assassins worked. They were all dead within seconds. They had no chance.”

 

He let out a small huff, turning his head away from you and placing a hand to his forehead. “… Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

 

“Not exactly, but the inevitable can never be prevented. Drink your tea.”

 

Shay moved slowly, his large hands wrapping around both sides of the cup and cradling it. No doubt the tea was still quite hot, so you had a feeling he was being burned. Still, he brought it up to his lips, blowing away the steam and taking a gentle sip.

 

“… Honestly, it’s kind of shitty.”

 

You rolled your eyes, gently slapping his shoulder. “I made that, I’ll have you know. Granted, I haven’t made tea in a while.”

 

His glance to you was short, but you could still see the slightest quirk of his lips. At least you could get him smiling, no matter how small. He drank a bit more of the tea before setting it off to the side, leaning back and draping his arms over the back of the couch. Unconsciously, one curled around your shoulder, holding onto you for comfort.

 

“… Master Kenway is going to kill me. Seven of his men are dead because of my mistake.”

 

You shrugged. “In all honesty, not that great of a loss. They were pretty awful anyways.”

 

“A cruel thing to say. Those men had families.”

 

“Who will learn to move on. We still have their funds. We can give those families support and allow them to grieve, but our losses aren’t as great as you might think.”

 

Shay let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. “I… I’m just glad that I got there soon enough to save you. Any later and… I’d rather not imagine what could have happened to you. The Assassins are cruel and brutal men.”

 

You leaned over, grabbing his face and turning him toward you. His eyes held a sorrowful expression, and his jaw was set harshly. His own hand come up, laying itself over one of yours. His eyes slipped shut, and he leaned into your touch.

 

“I was so stupid, love. I was upset and I almost got you killed because of it. I know I shouldn’t have been so angry but I just… I couldn’t stand seeing you with him. I don’t know why.”

 

Your brows furrowed together and you swiped your thumbs along his cheeks. “Shay?”

 

His eyes opened up, and he leaned forward, twisting his body so his forehead could touch yours. “I was jealous, lass. I’ve seen you talking with Master Kenway, with other businessmen, and I just feel so angry.”

 

“Shay, is that what…?”

 

“Yes,” he sighed out, sounding utterly defeated, “I know I shouldn’t worry, but I can’t help it. They’re richer than me, better-looking than me. They have more power than I could ever hope to have. There’s so many things about them that are simply better than what I could ever offer you. A man can’t help but be worried the love of his life will find someone better than him.”

 

You gave him a hardened look, and he recoiled, pulling away from you as far as he could. However, you kept his face turned toward you.

 

“Shay, do you really think I’m so materialistic to find a man who has money lining his pockets? Do you really not trust me?”

 

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, lass! I just feel so… Dammit, I feel so inadequate!” He sharply tore away from you, bracing his elbows on his knees and forcing his head into his hands. “All my life, there’s always been someone better than me. I grew up in a poor family, and when my parents died, I had nothing else. Others were richer, and they were off just fine. Others were stronger, better. All I could offer was my fighting spirit, and often than wasn’t enough. I was virtually useless.

 

“I wish I could do so much more, but there’s so little I can accomplish. I don’t have the funds to make a name for myself, nor the power to become a great man. So many men out there would be better for you, love. I know you’re able to care for yourself, but what if something happened? With me, you would have nothing. All I’ve got is my ship and my crew. A life on the sea is no life for you. It’s difficult and dangerous. I wouldn’t want to subject you to that.”

 

“I have my choice of virtually any man in New York,” you sharply bit out, leaning forward to get yourself into his vision, “Yet I chose you. Why do you think that is?”

 

Shay merely shook his head. “I’ve no idea.”

 

“A man with money is not a good man simply because he can buy whatever he pleases. A man with power more often goes corrupt. If I were to marry someone for such materials, I would be unhappy for the rest of my days.” You reached out, pulling a hand away from his head and clasping it between your own. “I love you because you interest me, Shay. You say you have nothing, but to me, you are everything. When I first saw you, I was entranced. I wanted to know so much more about you.

 

“Now I have you, but there’s still so much I learn about you. Every day with you is an adventure for me, Shay. When you’re gone, I feel lost. When you’re here, I’m so happy. A wealthy man is little more than his money. You have so many things about you to discover, and I love you for that. You’ve taught me so many things without trying. If I were to lose all of my money and be forced to live with you on the Morrigan, it would be another adventure in our life.

 

“I could see you explore the seas, command your crew. I could see the world. We would fight through storms together, we would starve together, we would struggle together. You could teach me so much. I want nothing more than to spend every minute I have with you, Shay, because you’re everything to me. With you, I am never unhappy. I _love_ you.”

 

Shay sucked in a sharp breath, gripping your hand tightly. You knew that he hated showing his emotions like this, but you were glad he was allowing himself to be so easy to read.

 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, bowing his head down.

 

“Don’t be.” You smiled, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand. “I just want to see you smile. Can you at least do that for me before Mr. Kenway tears you apart?”

 

He huffed out a small laugh. “I can try.”

 

The two of you sat there, chattering about small things as you constantly reminded him to drink his tea. He still clearly had quite a bit on his mind, but he was feeling a bit better. No doubt fear still gripped his heart at the thought of what punishment awaited him, but you did your best to distract him. Mr. Lee was giving you enough time to spend together, and you needed to make the best of it. You seriously doubted the Grandmaster would outright hurt Shay, but no doubt he wouldn’t be pleased.

 

You glanced out the window, noting how the sun was beginning to set on Albany. Had it really grown that much later into the day? Time passed awfully quick in situations like these.

 

“Shay?” The man in question gave a small hum of acknowledgement. “Let us get to bed. You’re going to want to be rested for tomorrow.”

 

He gave a small grimace but stood up nonetheless, groaning a bit as his knees popped. Though he wasn’t terribly old, his line of work was often strenuous. You would have to get him to rest for a couple of days in the near future before he threw something out.

 

You took his hand, leading him up the stairs and into your bedroom. It was a nice place, full of dark and sultry tones. Your four-poster bed sat off to the right, inviting you to collapse in its plush coverings. A huge armoire stood on its left, the dark oak blending in with the rest of the room seamlessly. You always prided yourself in your bedroom, and even Shay, who was often one who little cared for grand appearances, looked on in appreciation.

 

You walked to the armoire, pulling apart the doors and revealing all sorts of clothes. You possessed a closet as well, but generally the nicest clothes, as well as sleep and underwear, were kept in the armoire. It kept any nibbling moths away from them, as well as any prying eyes from seeing what sort of white breeches you kept. You pulled some men’s sleepwear free, setting them off to the side before grabbing your own.

 

Shay approached from behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burrowing his nose into your neck. You let out a short snort of laughter, placing a hand over his. “Need something?”

 

He hummed, placing a gentle kiss to the side of your throat. “I’d like you.”

 

You set your sleepwear alongside his before carefully turning around in his arms. You wrapped your arms about his shoulders, your fingers massaging the back of his neck. “This is quite the sudden change. I thought you were sulking.”

 

“I’d rather get my mind off of the sulking, thank you very much.”

 

You chuckled, leaning your face close to his. Your noses lightly bumped against one another’s. “Alright, alright. Kiss me, then.”

 

And he did. It started out rather soft, so unlike him, but you imagined he was trying to make up for his actions today. It wasn’t very deep or intimate, but it was pleasant nonetheless. You hummed into his lips, nudging him slightly toward the bed. He allowed you to guide him, gingerly stepping backward until his legs hit the edge of the bed. He pried his mouth from you, quirking up an eyebrow.

 

You pushed his shoulders, but he remained steady. He generally wasn’t one who liked to submit, and it wasn’t easy to push a man of his stature into the bed. Shay merely stared back down at you, his hands rubbing absent-minded circles into your hips. You shoved him again, but he was rock solid. The slight quirk in the corners of his lips was irritating.

 

“Shay,” you whispered, leaning up toward his ear, “Do you want me to suck your cock or not?”

 

He made a strangled noise in his throat, and his hold briefly faltered on you. You brushed your lips along his jaw, a questioning hum rumbling in your throat.

 

“Sit down.”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” he murmured, collapsing back onto the bed with a small bounce.

 

You now stood before him, your hands braced on his shoulders. He gazed back up at you, his lips parted and his breaths soft. Slowly, slowly, you undid the buttons to his vest, your fingers working over the tough leather fabric with determination. You slipped it from his shoulders, tossing it off to some corner of the room before quickly tending to his cotton shirt. The smaller buttons gave you a bit more trouble, but soon his chest was free and ready for you to explore.

 

You sighed, running two fingers down his sternum. He shivered beneath you, giving a tiny moan of appreciation. Your eyes followed the length of his body, and you couldn’t help but set you jaw to the side when you observed his lower half.

 

“Has anyone ever told you that you wear far too many clothes?”

 

“It may have been brought up,” he responded with wit, shrugging off his shirt and dropping it off of the side of the bed.

 

“And someone has to take all of these off. The work you make me do, I swear.”

 

Still, you dropped to your knees, helping him from his boots. Socks followed, and he charmingly wiggled his toes at you. You rolled your eyes, hands sliding up his thighs. The wiggling immediately stopped, and you could feel the muscles beneath your hands tense up in anticipation. Gingerly, you gently slid a hand over his groin, and the snort of laughter escaped you before you could stop it.

 

“Really, Shay? I’ve hardly touched you.”

 

“A man has needs!” he protested, giving you a sore look, “And mine haven’t been satisfied in quite some time.”

 

“Then we’ll be changing that, won’t we?”

 

You loosened the ties to his trousers, shucking them and his underdrawers all in one go. Once they were down to his ankles, you turned your attention to your prize. And what a lovely prize it was. Half-hard, his erection lay out in the open, slightly twitching from the sudden cold it had been exposed to. You could hear Shay make a noise of impatience in his throat, and you lightly tutted him. The man needed to learn how to wait.

 

Still, there was no real reason to keep him suffering. Perhaps another night you could draw out his pleasure, but he needed this to take his mind off of whatever punishment lay in wait tomorrow. So you grasped him in one hand, smiling at the small sigh that escaped his chest. You stroked him to life, slowly but assuredly, your eyes focused on his all the while. He tried to keep eye contact with you as much as possible, but sometimes he couldn’t help it when they fell close.

 

He hissed through his teeth with your first lick to the head of his cock, his hands tightening into the sheets below him. His face was twisted up, and every ounce of strength was going into trying to keep himself under control. Of course, he wasn’t doing a very good job, especially not when you took him into your mouth and hummed around him.

 

“God, woman!” he growled, tossing his head back and clenching his thighs.

 

You popped him free, much to his disappointment. “Something the matter?” You swiped your thumb over his slit. “Uncomfortable?”

 

“I’m considering giving that mouth something else to do in a couple of seconds here other than blabbing.”

 

You barked out a laugh, your free hand massaging his thigh. “I tease, love. Don’t get so antsy.”

 

You were right back on him, and one of his large hands came up to run back through your hair. His fingers gently winded into your locks, and he did his best not to tug too hard. But how could he not? Especially when you were taking him so deep into your hot, hot mouth and swallowing around his cock? He shuddered, hunching over you and gasping out a whisper that could have been your name.

 

You were glad to please him. It brought you pleasure as well, to watch him fall apart like this. There was something so empowering about making a man crumble by merely handling his most intimate parts. He was virtually incapacitated so long as you worked your mouth on him, and even though your jaw grew tired, you found yourself taking him deeper and sucking him harder.

 

You only took a break when you felt pleading tugs on your hair, and you popped him free with a question on your lips. It fell away, however, when you saw Shay’s face. His mouth was wide open, his gasps shallow and sharp. Those thick brows of his were tied together, and it was as if he wasn’t even trying to hide every emotion he felt.

 

“Get up here,” he wheezed out, tugging on your hair again.

 

You followed his instruction, rising to your feet and placing a knee on the edge of the bed. He didn’t even give you a chance to pull up your second leg, instead taking his chance to grab you by the waist and toss you onto your back. The wind flew out of you, your head hitting the pillows, just shy of the hard, wooden headboard. Your arms didn’t share such a safe fate, however, as they clattered against the wood with sharp thumps.

 

“Ouch!” you cried out, pouting out your lips.

 

“Sorry, lass,” he whispered, moving in between your legs, “You just don’t know what you do to me.”

 

Shay shucked off his pants, leaving him completely nude. He quickly tended to your clothes, shedding you of your own various layers. Your shoes fell away, and the tights came along as well. Your dress was peeled from your form, and the bustier and slip beneath it suffered the same fate. Last came away your underthings, and the Irishman above you observed your body with a hunger only capable of a man starved.

 

He settled down, chest pressed into the mattress as he wrapping his strong arms around your thighs. He roughly pulled your legs apart, his breath ghosting along your sex. You sighed out a whimper, sore hands trailing down to run back through his hair. You pulled his hair tie free, allowing those dark locks to cascade out and brush along your skin. You shivered at the tickling feeling, moving to brush all of his hair to one side so he was less hindered by it.

 

Shay quirked up an eyebrow at you for only a moment, then he was delving his mouth down against your pussy, his tongue giving long, broad strokes to its center. You moaned, trying to raise your legs and curl your toes. He held you steady, fingers pressing insistently into your skin and forcing you down. His hands tugged you closer, allowing his lips to seize your clit and give it a few sharp sucks.

 

“Fuuuuck,” you hissed, biting your lip.

 

“Such vulgar language for a lady,” he teased, his voice slightly muffled against your sex.

 

“Shut your gob, Cormac.”

 

He breathed out a short laugh, moving back against your pussy with a renewed vigor. You dug your fingers in his hair, his dark locks winding around your fingers like snakes. You weren’t trying to hurt him, but you simply couldn’t help but tug when he sucked your clit, or when he shoved his tongue deep inside of you. While not terribly good with his words, the man’s mouth had a skill perfectly-suited for this situation.

 

You sighed, arching your back and pressing your hips into his mouth. He wasn’t hurried at all, merely glad to take his time with the slow, rising pleasure he brought you. You took it as it was given, closing your eyes and relishing in every lick and suck. He would only take small breaks to catch his breath, leaning his stubbly chin against your thigh for only a moment as he gulped in oxygen. Then he was right back into the fray.

 

Of course, he couldn’t continue on forever, and he seemed to figure that the both of you should find your pleasure together. So Shay pulled back, despite your whine of dismay, and gave a gentle bite to your thigh. He sucked hard, laving his tongue over the spot before pulling away with a soft pop. The hickey was sufficiently red, and he gave a pleased little smile. His arms loosened from your thighs, and you stretched them out in some much needed relief.

 

“Good?” he questioned, crawling up your body. He settled his hips against your own, bracing his weight on his elbows, each placed on either side of your body.

 

“You want praise?” you teased, sounding just as out of breath as he was.

 

He snorted, kissing your neck. The wetness from your pussy intermingled with a swipe of saliva. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

 

You rolled your eyes, rutting your hips against him. Shay hissed through his teeth, giving you a tiny glare. You only smiled back up, bucking your hips once again. If he wasn’t going to fuck you soon, you’d just have to use every ounce of strength you had to roll him over and do it yourself.

 

Luckily, he seemed to be attuned to your wants, and he moved to balance his weight on one elbow, his free hand now sliding down to grab his cock. He gingerly guided himself into you, the both of you letting out a heavy whoosh of breath as the head of his dick slipped in. He settled back onto two elbows, and with furrowed brows, he began pressing into you.

 

Once about halfway in, he gave a sudden buck of his hips, bottoming out. You gasped, instinctively wrapping your arms about his neck. He groaned, hanging his head low and letting out a long hiss as he pulled from you. Then he was right back in, settling into a rhythm of sharp snaps with slow releases. It made you squirm beneath him, arms desperate to get some leverage.

 

He was content for a little while with this rhythm, his grunts as equally rough as his thrusts. You curled a leg around his backside, preventing him from pulling out much further than a few inches. Shay seemed to take this as a challenge, because he quickly settled into moving faster, harder. He gasped against you, a teasing grin on his face when he noted your overwhelmed expression.

 

“How about now? Good?”

 

“Sh-ut uuu _uup_!” you whined out, your glare lost on him.

 

His shoulders shook with laughter, and he offered a sharp buck of his hips in response. You were helpless beneath him, forced to give into his will. And what a will it was, so strong to where you were glad to be so incapacitated. And he was even more glad to give all he could to you. His thrusts increased in their pace, and even he began to lose himself a bit.

 

His head hung low, and he was unable to keep his mouth shut. Moans and gasps escaped him, and he let out strangled cries when you clenched around him. Neither of you were going to last much longer, especially considering the pleasure prior to your coupling. Just as well, it had been quite some time since you last had sex, and all the touches at this moment tumbled together in an overwhelming avalanche.

 

He was the first to go. You watched him suddenly still, his face screwed up in pleasure as he emptied himself deep within you. The feelings of his orgasm had you immediately following, and you shuddered below him, fingernails digging red half-moons into his shoulders. His arms shook with the exertion of holding himself above you, and he soon had to flop to the side. The both of you sighed as his cock slipped free, his release spilling onto the sheets below. Despite the stains that would no doubt result, neither of you could quite bring yourselves to hurry and clean.

 

Instead, Shay shakily slid his arm beneath your head, bringing you close and placing a kiss to your temple. You smiled softly, leaning into his touch. Both of you were a bit sore and very tired, but even something so simple brought you joy.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered, nuzzling his nose into your hair, “Thank you.”

 

You huffed out a laugh. “I don’t mind having sex with you, Shay.”

 

“Not for that. For being here. For being with me. I’m glad.”

 

You slowly rolled onto your side, wrapping an arm over his middle. “I’m happy to be with you. There’s no place I’d rather be than beside you.”

 

He hummed, moving onto his side as well. He shoved his leg between yours, and his other arm came over to tug you closer to him. The heat of his body was a little uncomfortable, but you didn’t have the energy to protest.

 

“Shame I brought out our sleepwear,” you mused, “All that extra work for nothing.”

 

“Mmhm. Not moving.”

 

“Lazy.”

 

“Guilty as charged.”

 

The both of you shared a quiet laugh before nuzzling closer to one another. Despite the situation that had brought this whole event up, you were glad to be with him now. Uncertainly may have lay ahead, but the pair of you would take it one step at a time. Shay’s punishment may include work far away, or a sentence that kept him in solitude. Regardless, you would wait for him. None of Shay’s fears would come to life, for you only had eyes for him.

 

He may believe that better lay out in the world for you, but you were content to be beside him. Your relationship had many perils, and you didn’t always get along. Each of you led lives with danger at every turn, and it was likely one of you may not return from a day out. Still, despite all of the fear that lingered in each of your minds, you were happy. He was poor, he had little power, and he was a bit bad-tempered. But he was Shay.

 

And you wouldn’t have him any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Honestly, my hands did not want to write this. I kept shrugging it off. But, hey, I forced myself to get it out!
> 
> As always, you can send requests over to madlyhazel.tumblr.com!


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